Date: 2026-04-11
AO: The Sandlot
Q: Rim Fire ,
PAX: 2 percent, Daaa Auditor, Defiance, The Tulip, Hobbyhorse, Lazlo, Pepco, Rim Fire, Baywatch, Trademark, Cager, Freestyle FNGs:
COUNT: 12
WARMUP: Side Straddle Hop, Imperial Walkers, Hillbillies, Michael Phelps, Cherry Twist, Willie Mays Hayes. OYO: Down Dog, World’s Greatest Stretch (the wrong one), Cobra Kai. THE THANG:
The Green Jacket — 18 Holes of Masters-Themed Pain
The PAX were informed we were playing 18 holes of Augusta this morning. Each hole had a par, a die roll determined the stroke differential, and reps adjusted accordingly. Coupons were hauled on the coupon holes. No mulligans. Minimum 5 reps per hole.
FRONT 9
Hole 1 — Azalea Opener | Caddie Sprints
Par 4. Die roll sent us to 5 sprints across the field. Caddie doesn’t get to walk.
Hole 2 — Pink Dogwood | Clubhouse Merkins
Par 3. 20 merkins. Chest to deck — Augusta has a dress code.
Hole 3 — Flowering Crab Apple | Farmer Carry Sprints (Coupon)
Par 4. 5 reps — carry the block, sprint 20 yds, 5 merkins on the ground, carry back. Nobody said caddying was easy.
Hole 4 — Magnolia | Rae’s Creek Dips
Par 3. Die had no mercy. 35 dips on the bench. Don’t go in the water.
Hole 5 — Golden Bell | Patron Shuffle + Sprint
Par 5. 20 reps of lateral shuffle 15 yds, plant, sprint back. The patrons were politely horrified.
Hole 6 — Juniper | Coupon Overhead Press (Coupon)
Par 3. 30 presses with the block. Slow and controlled — you’re carrying the bag, not launching it.
Hole 7 — Pampas | Scottie’s Pull-ups
Par 4. 15 pull-ups on the playground bar. Finish like Scheffler on Sunday.
Hole 8 — Yellow Jasmine | Lunge-to-Sprint
Par 4. 5 reps — 10 walking lunges then explode into a sprint back. Legs were filing complaints by this point.
Hole 9 — Carolina Cherry | Coupon Bent-Over Row (Coupon)
Par 3. 30 rows. Hinge, row, control the eccentric. Augusta demands precision.
BACK 9
Hole 10 — Camellia | Suicide Cones
Par 4. 10 reps — 10 yd and 20 yd stops only. The 30 yd cone was mercifully spared.
Hole 11 — White Dogwood | Bobby Jones Merkins
Par 3. 20 wide-grip merkins. The founder would approve.
Hole 12 — Golden Bell Par 3 | Amen Corner Gassers
Par 3. 5 gassers — full field width and back. The most dangerous hole on the course. Nobody argued.
Hole 13 — Azalea Back | Blockee + Coupon Deadlift (Coupon)
Par 5. 25 reps — deadlift the block, set it down, drop into a blockee. Repeat. The PAX were starting to look like Sunday afternoon at Augusta — weathered but still standing.
Hole 14 — Chinese Fir | Sunday Charge 40s
Par 4. 3 suicides — 10, 20, and 30 yd. The legs had a full conversation with the brain about quitting. Brain won. Barely.
EARLY MARY (Holes 15-17)
Hole 15 — Firethorn | 15 Flutter Kicks IC
Hole 16 — Redbud | 20 LBCs IC
Hole 17 — Nandina | 15 Hello Dollys
Hole 18 — Holly | Sunday Walk Up 18
2 sprint laps around the field perimeter. Everyone together, everything left in the tank. Tip your hat to the patrons.
MARY: See above
ANNOUNCEMENTS: May/June trifecta
COT: “Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of.” — C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
The challenge to the PAX: Find the one small decision you can make today that might make a huge positive difference down the road. Not the big dramatic move — the small one. The rep you didn’t skip. The word you chose carefully. The 5 AM alarm you didn’t silence. Compound interest works in both directions. Choose wisely.
F3 The Capital 