Author: willhlaw

Date: 2026-03-26
AO: The Highlands
Q: Jag ,
PAX: LTD, Hard Knox, Jag, Katniss
FNGs: None
COUNT: 4
Chuck Norris didn’t need to wear a watch, he simply decided what time it was. And it was F3 time.

WARMUP: SSH; Air Press: Phelps; WMH; RVE; DD; Greatest; Kai

THE THANG: When Chuck Norris lifted weights, the weights got in shape. SUITCASE CARRY.

Chuck Norris once made a Happy Meal cry, so we did 13 (3+10 to match his birthday) HAPPY JACKS. Then we did 13 KNERKINS and a lap.

Chuck Norris found the last digit of pi, so we did 13 PISTOL SQUATS (each leg). Then we did 13 KNERKINS and a lap.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity more than once, so we did 10-1 MOTIVATORS, which kind of felt like infinity. Then we did 13 KNERKIN DIPS and a lap.

When Chuck Norris looked into the abyss, the abyss looked the other way, so we did 13 ABYSS MERKINS on each side. Then we did 13 KNERKINS and a lap.

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris, so we did 13 HEAVY FREDDIES. Then we did 13 KNERKINS and a lap.

Chuck Norris was able to slam a revolving door, so we did 13 AROUND THE WORLDS. Then we did 13 KNERKINS and a lap.

MARY: LBCs; Heavy Flutters; Dirty Dogs; Nolan Ryan (cuz’ punching).

ANNOUNCEMENTS: When Chuck Norris was born, he slapped the doctor. Chuck Norris had a diary, it is called the Guinness Book Of World Records. Chuck Norris knew Victoria’s secret. Chuck Norris could unscramble an egg. Chuck Norris carried his own casket.

COT: Chuck Norris probably enjoyed his legends. It is a reminder that, while you should take certain things seriously, taking yourself seriously is not one of them. We try, we fail, we’re human. It is okay to laugh at yourself and try again.

Date: 2026-03-25
AO: Ignite
Q: Legacy ,
PAX: Gherkin, Basic, Legacy, Goldfish, Hobbyhorse, East Wing, 2 percent, Kodak FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
WARMUP:

SSH, Imperial Walker, Hill Billies, Willy Mayes Hayes, Phelps, Root Vegetable Extractor, Moroccan Night Club, Non-Micromanaged Downward Dog

A big lap around the two parking lots.

THE THANG:

World’s Shortest Dora:
Pax paired up and did 20 Atlas Shrugged, 30 coupon squats, 40 curls, then the hostilities commenced in the F3 Eastern Capital Regional.

Break into 2 teams

Mano-a-Mano-Ray-Romano:

PAX take turns going to the line for two shots for their teams mano a mano style.

If PAX goes 0-2 (that is a Ray Romano) his team must do a rifle carry around the small loop (which is actually not that small!) then 10 overhead presses.

If teams tie for a Double Ray Romano both teams do the Ray Romano penalty but add ten burpees

If PAX goes 1-2 (that is a Sonny Bono) then the penalty is merely 10 overheads, unless the PAX tie, then add 5 burpees

2-0 (a Bono) and you win of course, but for a tie (Double Bono) both teams do a victory lap.

I am not going to get into the specifics of how the competition played out, you can check the highlights on your sports streaming app.

We then played

Six in the Bucket:

PAX line up to shoot the Smushballs, when a team gets six in the bucket they are done; shoot it in, grab another one, but if you miss, you have to fetch the ball and run the small lap before shooting again.

Again, I am not going to get into details of how it played out. I am a big picture guy

MARY:

Flutters (IC) 30
Freddy Mercuries (IC) 20
LBCs 40

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Leadership Evening, 4/16 by Zoom (you can have your camera off and just listen), featuring Dave Kovar, a nationally recognized leader in martial arts instruction.

Trifecta of CSAUPs at the end of May/Beginning of June.

COT:
Today is YHC’s anniversary as Nant’an. The morning after becoming Nant’an, I am came out for a workout right here at Ignite. I am so proud to be the Nant’an. The F3 Capital Region is fantastic non-profit that is providing an important service to the Washington D.C. Also, as I have said, when you take time to serve your brothers, you actually end up getting more back for yourself. SYITG!

Date: 2026-03-27
AO: Sparta
Q: NOAA ,
PAX: Obadiah, Drano, Norm, Monk, NOAA, Nano, Peanuts, Doodles, Dunder, Pop Fly FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
WARMUP: Standard Stuff
THE THANG:

On pretend Football field

Rifle Carry 10 yards then exercise:
10 Thrusters
20 WWII
30 Cross over Merkins
40 Squats
50 Overhead Press
40 Squates
30 Cross over Merkins
20 WWI
10 Thrusters

On way Back:
10 Blockies
20 Bent Rows per Arm
30 LBCs
40 Lunges
50 Curls
40 Lunges
30 LBCs
20 Bent Rows per Arm
10 Blockies

MARY: PAX lead exercises

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
AT hike
Convergence
Murph

COT: Q looking forward to unplugging and spending time with family over spring break.

Date: 2026-03-27
AO: The Patriot
Q: Shake ‘n’ Bake ,
PAX: Big Short, SAAS, Lazlo, citrus, Ice Tea, Smokey, Summit, Shake ‘n’ Bake, Jones, Strange Brew, Sunshine, Gherkin, Flipper, Hops, Fiddler, Booking, CableGuy, Boardwalk, Horton, DoorDash FNGs: None
COUNT: 20
WARMUP: SSH, IW, HB, LBAC, Don Quixote, WMH, Pickers, WGS, Cobra Kai

THE THANG:
A modified Leroy Jenkins. 4 corners and middle circle. When someone at a corner yelled “double respect” we ran back to the middle and did 60 of an exercise.

Corner 1: 20 Overhead Press, 20 Coupon Curls, 20 Bent Over Rows, repeat until someone yells double respect

Corner 2: 20 Coupon Squats, 20 Chest Press, 20 Coupon Swings, repeat until someone yells double respect

Corner 3: 20 Atlas Shrugs, 20 Big Bois, 20 Legs over Coupons, repeat until someone yells double respect

Corner 4: 20 Monkey Humpers, 20 Toe Taps, 20 Flutter w/ Coupon, repeat until someone yells double respect

Middle: (20 Merkins, 20 Mountains, 20 Toy Soldiers), 60 SSH, 60 Calf Raises, 60 Second Plank, 60 Second Chair Pose

MARY: 60 LBCs, Dirty Dog, Donkey Kicks

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Check the channels

COT: Reflecting on the decades:
20’s – Fun, Reckless
30’s – Fun, Hectic, Family
40’s – Scary, Fun, Family, Health
50’s – The best yet, letting go and then the best part, F3
60’s – Who knows. Smokey said it gets harder and Sunshine said “that’s what she said”

Date: 2026-03-27
AO: The Farm
Q: Trilogy ,
PAX: Squatter, Lumbergh, Short-Timer, Firehead, Infinity, Trilogy FNGs: None
COUNT: 6
WARMUP:
SSH
IW
WMH
BP
Mosey
THE THANG:
3 rounds of 45/15 Tabata
Merkin
Squat
Coupon Curls
Mt Climber
Dumbbell Overhead Press
Lunge
Dumbbell Row
Monkey Humper
Dips
Coupon (kettlebell) Swing
with a Mosey in between
MARY:
Bench crunches
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Ruck tomorrow
Infinity Q on Monday
COT:
The stresses in life that still give you nightmares 20 years later – but we survived.