A Festivus for the Rest of Us!

DATE: 2022-12-19
AO: Patriot
Q: 2 percent
PAX: Lazlo, Ice Tea, Anchor Man, Wedding Singer, Roadkill, CableGuy, Beast, My Space, Smokey, Bone, sticks, Flipper, Legacy, Lucius, Big Short FNGs: None
COUNT: 16
WARMUP: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Hill Billy’s, Arm Circles, Moroccan Night Clubs, Michael Phelps, Willy Mays Hays, Potato Pickers, Downward Dog, World’s Greatest Stretch, The Galaxy’s Greatest Constellation THE THANG:
• After a 200 meter fellowship lap where 15 of us avoided sniper fire, the PAX gathered around the circle at the 50 yard line to learn the true meaning of Festivus: a non denominational holiday filled with one sided ridicule and mindless physical tests of strength. Also, there was an aluminum pole.

• The tradition of Festivus began with the Airing of Grievances:
The QIC had a lot of problems with a select few PAX, and now they were going to hear about it! The QIC barked the ways in which they had disappointed him over the past year. After each name was read, and an appropriate insult hurled, a burpee was performed collectively by the group. 16 rounds. • As Festivus rolled on, we came to the Feats of Strength:
PAX lined up in pairs on the 50 yard line. Each team took turns carrying the festivus pole to the goal line while the other team member did a high knee, jubilant skip alongside of him. Switching positions at the goal line. The remaining PAX performed a number of exercises while waiting their turns: Star Jumps, LBC’s, Heisman Shuffle, “Where am I’s”, Fast Feet/Get Downs, Bonnie Blair’s, Jump Squats.
• Short mosey to the bike racks, aka Bear Crawl arches where we…well….Bear crawled under the bike racks. • 20 Merkins
• 20 Australian push ups.
• Flying Dutchmen through the parking lot
• Mosey to the other side of the school to another set of bike racks. Paired up again for 20 Bike rack dips while alternating PAX performed shoulder taps. 2 rounds • Mosey back to the track for some Ricky Bobby with the Festivus pole

MARY: Box Cutters, Toy Soldiers, Nolan Ryans
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Grow Ruck, Christmas is on a Sunday this year, Hanukkah is 8 nights this year.
COT: No matter what holiday you celebrate, real, fictitious, or nothing at all….I wish all of you and your families a safe and happy December and a joyous New Year.