Whose Knife is it Anyway?

DATE: 2022-05-11
AO: Patriot
Q: Lazlo
PAX: Shake ‘N’ Bake, Sunshine, Roadkill, Elvis, Wedding Singer, Legacy, CableGuy, Big Short, Ice Tea, Lucius FNGs: None
What do you get when you combine murder/mystery with improv/comedy? This Q.

What if you add in some dramatized fiction? You get this backblast. Because things might not have gone down exactly like this. But it’s based on a true story.

We started by reminding the PAX about the 5 principles of F3. 1. Open to all men.
2. Free of charge.
3. Peer led.
4. Held outdoors.
5. Every workout ends in… murder.

That’s right. Someone in this circle of trust killed the Q, and it was up to the PAX to figure out who did it. Fortunately, the killer wasn’t very bright. He had written down some ideas for what exercise would kill the Q, where he would do the deed, and how he would get away. And he had left note cards scattered around the field. In fact, with an exercise, movement, and location card every 10 yards, from the 10 (at one end of the field) to the 90 (the other 10 yard line).

After a quick WARMUP: SSH, imperial walkers, Michael Phelps, hillbillies, copperhead squates, cherry pickers, downward dog, we got into

To collect the cards, the PAX had to draw a location card, then do the getaway movement until we got to the location (one of the 10-yard lines), then do the exercise. Being a random drawing, not even the Q knew how far we’d have to go or what order we’d go in. But the PAX made it. We collected all 9 sets of cards. The movements and exercises were: Getaway:
-Bear crawl
-Crawl bear
-Reverse lunge
-Crab walk
-Duck walk
-Broad jump
-Frankenstein walk

-20 merkins
-30 BWS
-10 Absolutions
-10 Burpees
-15 Bobby Hurley’s
-30 LBCs
-30 OH claps
-10 No Surrender’s
-20 WWIs

With all the cards collected, it was time to solve the mystery. The Q knew the right answer. He was the victim of course. We went around the circle, and each PAX guessed the location, exercise, and getaway. The PAX were very excited to learn that for each guess, they had to actually do the exercise.

And the killer almost got away with it, too. Because the PAX were not very good guessers. But finally, the jig was up. It was @wedding singer who put all the pieces together. Because of course, he was the killer. He killed the Q with Merkins, at the 20 yard line, and got away doing a mosey.

Well done, men.

MARY: flutter kicks

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Boneathon, Memorial Day festivities, a Loudon ruck, F3, The Capital Tour, 2022, all coming soon.

COT: Quick change of plans for the circle of trust. The beatdown today might not have gone as smoothly as the Q would have liked. Probably more like a lot of real-life versions of a Hollywood script. But part of F3 is that you don’t get to pick the Q. Just whether or not you get out of the fartsack. So the Q expressed gratitude for the patience of the PAX today. And it’s a good lesson to carry into the rest of your life. For the most part, you don’t get to pick your kids, your co-workers, your neighbors, etc. Just whether or not you’re going to engage and be positive. So carry that patience and positivity with you.

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