AO: The Patriot
QIC: Lucius
THE PAX: Cable Guy; Choo Choo; Citrus; Elvis; El Nino; Lazlo; Fish Fry; Flipper; Fuzz; Lazlo; Maguire; Road Kill; Surely; Wedding Singer
The Battle of the Bulge began on December 16, 1944 along an 80-mile wide front in the Ardennes forrest. 76 years later, on December 16, 2020, 14 PAX gathered at the Patriot to celebrate the will and sacrifice of those who fought in the Ardennes seven decades ago. Here is what we did:
THE WARM UP: Battle of the Bulge Trivia, interspersed with 20 x SSH; 20 x Wind Mills; 15 x Arm Circles; Downward dog; Cobra; Childs Pose
THE-THANG:
Siegfried Line – PAX scout the Seigfried line, each selecting a cinder-block, then performing 5 X thrusters, 5 X curls, 5x Rows AMRAP in about 1.5 mins.
Bombardment – Assault begins with 1.5 hours of artillery bombardment along entire 80-mile long front. Begins promptly at 05:30. Assault begins at 07:00. PAX performed 10 burpees to remember the shelling.
Kampfgroup Piper – PAX Bear-crawl the route taken by Kampfgroup Peiper from the Loishem Gap toward its objective on the Meuse River. PAX move to the following strategic points, all spaced 10 yards apart:
Loseheim – Because Germain Engineers did not repair bridge, Peiper had to turn South. 20 Bridge-Ups; 20 left-side bridges; 20 right-side bridges. Then move on to:
Lanzerath – A small group of Americans (18 members of reconnaissance platoon and 4 forward artillery observers) hold up Peiper’s advance for over 12 hours. 500 German paratroopers attempt to overrun the US position, but are held back. In their honor, PAX complete 22 Tempo Merkins. Then move on to:
Honsfeld – Piper’s column captures 50,000 gallons of US fuel, allowing the column to continue advancing. 20 4-count plank jacks; 20 4-count gas pumpers. Then move on to:
Malmedy – Captured US soldiers are told to stand in a field beside a cross-road, then shot by Peiper’s SS troops. 84 US POWs die. Peiper’s tanks continue to periodically fire into the field as they pass. Some US soldiers survive by hiding beneath the bodies on their comrades. Word of the massacre quickly spreads through US lines, strengthening American resolve. In remembrance of the Malmedy Massacre, PAX perform 84 exercise counts: 4-Count Body Weight Squats (20); 4-Count Lunge Steps (20); Squat Jumps (20); Single-Count Bonnie-Blairs (24). Then move on to:
Trois-Ponts / Stoumont – Piper’s column stalls, then is attacked by Allied planes. Because US engineers have blown all bridges between the Germans and the Muese, Piper’s task group cannot reach its objective. US warplanes destroy German armor and men as they retreat. 20 Dive-bomber Merkins; 20 Bridge-Ups; 20 Merkins.
PAX Crawl Bear to end line for next exercise
Shoulders Hold Strong– To celebrate the strength of the defenders on the “shoulders” of the bulge—the remnants of the 99th Division defending Elsenborn Ridge in the north and the 28th Infantry division holding its flank in the South—the PAX performed 10 Atlas Shrugs; 10 Magellans; 10 Atlas Shrugs; 10 Magellans.
St. Vith – To Commemorate the 7,000+ men lost (captured or killed) from the 106th Infantry Division, the defense of St. Vith, the strategic retreat from the town, and the Allied counter-attack, PAX perform 106 counts of exercises: 1 Burpee; 20 Merkins; 1 Burpee; 20 Air Press; 1 Burpee; 20 Jump Squats; 1 Burpee; 20 Carolina Dry Docks;1 Burpee; 20 Overhead Claps; 1 Burpee. PAX perform a burpee at St. Vith, perform 20 count of an exercise, then retreat (running backwards) 30 yards. To regroup and pick up the six, PAX perform Montgomerys in the end zone (Air-chair sit). They then retake the lost ground and repeat. Burpee to end.
On Dec. 20, Montgomery was put in charge of two US Armies on the northern edge of the battle, who could not directly communicate with US general staff south of the Bulge. Montgomery gave a press conference describing the battle. It was seen as self-promoting and insulting to the Americans. In response, Winston Churchill described said “This is undoubtedly the greatest American battle of the war and will, I believe, be regarded as an ever-famous American victory.”
Bastogne – PAX form defense perimeter around the critical intersections in Bastogne, forming an out-ward-facing ring. To commemorate the tenacity of the 101 airborne troopers who defended Bastogne during a seven-day siege, the PAX collectively perform 101 Merkins, holding plank as the Merkins go round the circle.
THE MARY: WWIs; WWIIs; USAs
THE COT: One thing that impresses YHC about the soldiers who fought in the Bulge is their persistence and endurance. The battle raged for over a month. In terrible, cold conditions. We now find ourselves in month nine of a pandemic, with the end far off. We should channel the resolve of our grandfathers in this challenging time.
When first meeting his generals after the German attack, Dwight D. Eisenhower stated that “The present situation is to be regarded as one of opportunity for us, not disaster. There will be only cheerful faces at this conference table.” With the German troops attacking, not in defensive positions, they provided opportunities for Allied forces to attack their open flanks. Ultimately, the German attack resulted in loss of irreplaceable men and material for the Germans. While facing obstacles this December, remember Gen. Eishenhower. Look for the opportunity, not the disaster.
